What is a Twinkie?

[earthw7]

http://www.geocities.com/planettwinkie/WhatIs.html

What is a Twinkie?

What exactly is a twinkie? Is it a delicious cream filled snack cake? The nickname of the Minnesota Twins, or an Asian American who acts like a whiteman? Well, a Twinkie may be many of those things but when real live indians talk about Twinkies, they're not talking about any of these things.
A Twinkie is a person, almost always a white, privileged person who peddles spiritual junk food. Just as the Hostess version is all sugar and chemicals containing very little nutritional value, the New Age Twinkie is artificial and valueless in a spiritual sense.

Twinkies all have different interests, but there is one trait that they all have in common: an auditory impairment that makes them incapable of hearing or comprehending the word, "No!" This impairment is particularly prominent when a person of lower social class, especially Native Americans, are uttering the word. Some Twinkies have been known to remain completely oblivious to the fact that an entire Nation, the Lakota, have declared War on them. Cat owners may be able to relate to this phenomenon. A cat can hear a can opener three blocks away, but its auditory canals cannot pick up the word, "No!" while engaged in climbing the curtains. The feline brain is approximately the size of a walnut, so one can deduce that Twinkies probably posses brains of comparable size.

Another common trait is a sense of entitlement. Twinkies are often heard preaching about how everyone is entitled to Native American Spirituality. However, no one can have their graphics. It's a subtle distinction that often proves hard to grasp.

Twinkies always stick together. Whenever one Twinkie is exposed, all the other Twinkies rush to its defense with crocodile tears. They make elegant testimonials as to the Twinkies "good intentions" and its kind and "caring voice." It's a kind of professional courtesy among thieves. Good intentions are the New Age equivalent of a "Get out of jail free card". They are an all purpose excuse for any type of exploitation or charlatanism.

A fool and his money are soon parted. The Twinkie counts on this. Just like McDonalds, they know how to please the masses. They know how to mix just the right combinations of Christianity, psycho-babble, Astrology, re-incarnation, Wicca, crystal healing, Tarot card reading and astro-projection to appeal to the general public, desparate for spiritual enlightenment, but not really committed to doing anything that requires too much time or effort, especially on week-ends.

All Twinkies absolutely must have a fake Indian name. It's a must. This can be easily achieved by chosing two or more words from any column of the following table:

Animals Colors Cliches Birds Plants Relationship Indicators Misc

Wolf Blue Medicine Eagle Parsley Brother/Sister Moon Buffalo Red Shining Owl Sage Gramma/Grampa Morning Star Bear Grey Proud Hawk Rosemary Clan Mother Thunder Coyote Lavender Weaver Raven Thyme Chief Rainbow

For instance, Gramma Lavender Rainbow Owl Weaver or Chief Grey Morning Star Rosemary Medicine, or Sister Shining Blue Moon Buffalo Parsley would make really good Twinkie names. Now all you have to do is get yourself set up to accept Visa and Mastercard and you're on the road to spiritual fulfillment! Some people are so good at Twinkiedom that I've decided to start giving out awards for it. Visit the next page to see who's really out standing in the field

[frederica]

Everyone went to the next page and the site hit capacity. It's down. lol.

[grumpyoldman]

Thank you Earth, I have not laughed heartily in awhile but that got me. I am surrounded by twinkies lol. I am white, a true grumpyoldman. not made up to sound NDN. I could not resist this as a first post. I have been fighting twinkieism since 1965
Living in the hills in California puts me in contact with half the whackos out there and your description really fits.
GOM

[earthw7]

Just wanted a good laugh for the New year

[earthw7]

Here's silly quotes from the twinkie page

SILLY QUOTES OF THE MONTH

February 2004

The Spirit Gathering Web site:


"The Saguaro are our brothers and sisters. Their aura expands in the night like the Human Being. Honor Them."

SOURCE: http://www.spiritgathering.com/default.html


The Circle of the Hemispheres Tipi Circle

"In the woods, cleansed by the sacred ceremonies, connected, focused, unified, and mobilized toward a global paradigm shift. not simply an isolated event. Dancing the energies into the world, into the future with an action plan. Grounded in receptivity and humility."

SOURCE: http://www.harmonicconcordance.com/___ConcordanceCeremonies.htm


Jade Wah'oo Grigori (1)


"An ancient ceremony of the Pleiades, passed into my care by my Grampa Pena, brings forth the history and origin of the Anasazi (in Navajo this means 'The Ancient and Alien Ones') people of the Southwest, and the gift of Blue Corn, both as a food and as a magical resource.
As the song of the 7 Sisters is sung, the stars of the Pleiades move across the sky, reorienting their position, bringing about a realignment of our Stars Within (chakras) with the originating pattern of Creation. If you are looking to experience the real magic of Shamanism, this is it!"

SOURCE: http://www.shamanic.net/events/starknowledge.htm


The Crow Calls web site

"A common item in the Medicine Bag is the quartz crystal. The quartz crystal is prized as a power object and powerful spirit helper because it appears the same in this world and the spirit world. It is used for divination, healing, communication with spirits and inspiration. The crystal is carried concealed from others and the sun. The crystal will diffuse its power throughout the Medicine Bag. Before keeping a crystal, you should first cleanse it with running water, then take it to a high place and place it point upward in a split stick to be recharged by the sun for eight days. Periodically the spirit of the crystal should be aroused by lightly tapping the non-pointed end on a rock that sits in running water."

SOURCE: http://www.angelfire.com/md3/metis/cc2.html


Standing Elk at the Star Knowledge Conference

"Standing Elk, began with a presentation of the interpretation of Star Nations (extraterrestrial) symbols found amid the wreckage of the Roswell/Corona UFO. He explained how he and other native helpers gained knowledge of the meaning of eleven of the "Roswell" symbols, plus an additional ancient Lakota symbol derived from the Star People. During inipi (sweat lodge) ceremonies, extraterrestrials would enter the lodge and provide interpretations."

SOURCE: http://www.padrak.com/ufo/WORLDS.html


The Burning Man Website

" POW MAUI WOW ME is your stop for spiritual guidance in Black Rock City. Fear not the MAZE with guidance found here. Enjoy the Sweat Lodge, Find your Spirit Animal, Indulge in a Rain Dance... ALL IS POSSIBLE... ALL IS YOU!"

SOURCE: http://www.burningman.com/whatisburningman/2001/01_camp_vill_mz.html

The Whale Day Web Site

"Native American sweat lodge for the Whales. In Native American tradition, the whales are considered the record keepers. February 19th."

SOURCE: http://www.whaleday.com/Global_Events/global_events.html


Twylah Nitsch

Soul Boosters

"I listen and hear the Silence
I listen and see the Silence
I listen and taste the Silence
I listen and smell the Silence
I listen and embrace the Silence.
To Practice This Thought: Give your senses a sauna in the silence."

— Twylah Nitsch quoted in The Mystic Vision by Andrew Harvey and Anne Baring
SOURCE: http://www.spiritualityhealth.com/newsh/items/soulbooster/item_657.html


JADE WAH'OO GRIGORI (2)

"Power, the Soul, and Money "If you charge too much for your work, you will get sick. If you do not receive enough for your work, you will become sick."
~A statement of direction given by the Ancestral Spirits of my lineage.
When an individual goes to work they are expending a quantum of Power, quantified as time on the job and the investment of previous time spent in developing that particular skill (training, work experience, etc). For this the worker is compensated with money. That money represents, symbolizes, the investment of Life Force given on behalf of the employer. As the symbol is the thing itself, money equates with Life Force. The person who has been compensated then spends the cash, transferring that portion of his/her Life Force to another who is providing the product or service that is being purchased. This product or service also has an investment of Power within it, as the provider has spent time, i.e. Life Force, in the creation of the offering.
The high-pitched overtone stimulates the brain into the alpha brain wave state. This alpha state is experienced as a dreamy, daydream-like state of being. Physiologically, our response to the alpha state is a deep physical relaxation which comes over us. A daydream's content is driven by the emotionally laden internal dialogue going on within us. Because the mind is fixated, there is nothing to drive any content. In this way, Shamanic Drumming produces a daydream state of alpha without emotional content."

SOURCE: http://www.shamanic.net/articles/spiritmoney.html


Nancy Redstar

"There are two different forms of reality: particle and a wave. Waves are nonphysical forms, not limited by the confines of this or any other universe. The pineal system of the human brain, including the pineal gland, which is located at the "third eye," has the ability to convert waves into particles, producing particle patterns -- pictures, views, configurations -- in accord with one's holographic belief systems." by Nancy Red Star."
-- Excerpt from Life With a Cosmos Clearance

SOURCE: http://www.nancyredstar.com/events.htm