Stuff White People Like, #2: Religions Their Parents Don't Belong To

[Barnaby_McEwan]

Mostly they are into religion that fits really well into their homes or wardrobe and doesn’t require them to do very much.

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/2008/01/18/2-religions-that-their-parents-dont-belong-to/

[TheRebel]

lmbo!! I think mostly they are talking about white yuppies more than anything!

[Barnaby_McEwan]

#59 Natural Medicine

Since white people can’t really blame any race for their problems, they need to blame corporations.  In this case, the reason that they are sick or fat or without energy is because the drug companies are in a conspiracy to keep them addicted to placebos.  This helps them shed accountability, and it lets them feel like they are helping the environment by rejecting the polluting, greedy, awful drug companies and taking natural, organic medicine from the earth.

But perhaps it goes deeper.  Hundreds of years ago, another group of people believed firmly in natural medicine and it’s ability to cure disease.  Then white people gave them blankets with small pox and they all died.  So perhaps turning to natural medicine also helps white people feel better about killing natives.

How can you use this for gain?  It’s easy!  When a white person you work with is feeling sick or says they have no energy, ask them to tell you more about their problems.  After pretending to listen for a little while, tell them that in your culture/home country “we cured that using a special herbal powder from [insert made up tree] root.

Then the next day bring them a small bag of basil or oregano and tell them to boil it in a tea (white people love to believe in magic teas) and see how they feel in the morning.

[frederica]

I can hear it now, "It make me feel warm and fuzzy, and I could feel it's energy, it make me feel like I was centered again".

[Spaewife]

Damn and I always thought I got my warm and fuzzies from holding my cat..I gotta learn better. 

[frederica]

Yep, the article and what Reb says about being mostly Yuppies is probably real close. A few years ago a guy around here was arrested for selling Herbal Spiritual Energy Capsules at $25.00. You could swallow them, smoke them, brew them to tea or whatever. He had quite a little business going, lots of Nuage clients, who swore by the product.  He was arrested as they thought it was some sort of dope. After further review, it turned out he was selling dried horse droppings which he placed in gelatin capsules. Go figure that one.

[Barnaby_McEwan]

...he was selling dried horse droppings which he placed in gelatin capsules.

>picks jaw up off floor<

Well, they were herbal...once...