I'm not sure if this belongs in Et Cetera, or in Humor, but I thought I'd share a little bit of info about how nutty people can be on the subject of spiritual authority. This thread has nothing to do with American Indians, but everything to do with a certain version of "medicine people" and how they get their authority. A word of warning: this is all about the Pope and how he's elected and how some people would rather have someone else in charge; but trust me, it's not as off-topic as it seems.
First some background: in a discussion with a Portuguese friend of mine about Pope Benedict XVI, I casually mentioned that there are actually two other Popes in office right now: the Greek Orthodox patriarch of Alexandria, and the head of the Coptic church are both officially called Pope So-and-so. Good Catholic that he is, he argued with me that there's only one Pope. I argued back that a few centuries ago, there were actually two people claiming to be the Pope at the same time. He says, but there can only be one successor to St. Peter, and I said, yes, that's true, and historians call one of those people "the Pope", and the other one "the Antipope". At that point the discussion broke down because his English, while quite good, still has some odd little gaps in it, and I wasn't able to explain the word "antipope" in a way that he could grasp, because I knew very little about the subject to begin with. But I told him I would read up on it and try to express it better next time.
I'm always happy to find a new subject to dive into, so I spent at least a week in the public library and on the internet learning all about Popes and antipopes, the Avignon papacy, the Great Western Schism (1378-1417) the relationship of the Western Church with the Holy Roman Empire, and why, pray tell, are there two historical figures named Pope John XXIII?
I won't go into it, because it's complicated and not that interesting except as part of European history. My reaction to it is something like, "gosh, and those people call
us 'Byzantine'!"
It turns out that there were not two, but
three Popes for a while--one Pope and two Anitpopes, but which one was which depended on who you asked. That's a lot of Popes!
Anyway, all of this led me to some interesting information about present day groups who split from the Roman Church, largely over the Vatican II reforms, whom I never knew existed. Most of them insist that the throne of Peter is empty, and has been for some time. Depending on who you listen to, the last legitimate Pope was either Pius XII or John XXIII, but they all agree that everyone elected since at least the early 1960s (Paul VI, the two John Pauls, and the present Benedict XVI) is a fraud and imposter, and no true and faithful Catholic would follow them. So what they're actually claiming is...are you ready for this?.....
the Pope is not Catholic!
Strange but true. Anyone who's a history geek like me and wants to get all the dirty details can start with the Wikipedia page on the "sedevacantism" movement (the word means "the-seat-is-vacant-ism"
) and follow the links there if you've REALLY got too much time on your hands:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SedevacantismIt gets worse, and brings me closer to my point:
A few of these groups were not satisfied with a vacant Papacy, and so formed their own "conclaves", or committees to elect a new Pope. In the mainstream Roman practice, this conclave consists exclusively of cardinals under the age of 80, but these new conclaves usually consist of a handful of lay people and maybe some disaffected clergy. In one case, six people got together in Kansas and elected a "legitimate" Pope who they then expected all the world's Roman Catholics (that is, over one sixth of the world's entire population) would acknowledge.
Up until the 11th century, the Pope was elected by the clergy and people of Rome collectively, but no Pope since Nicholas II has been elected by any group than the College of Cardinals, as anybody who knows what they're saying could tell you.
This is, in terms of the subject of this board, the equivalent of a group of Indian wannabes getting together and choosing one of their own (most likely, just as in the "conclaves", choosing the leader of the group) as their new Chief or Medicine Leader or Pipe Carrier, and then expecting that every Indian tribe and government official will accept this person as the legitimate leader of their legitimate tribe.
As in most subjects, you find a progression that goes from mainstream to dissenter to eccentric to completely wacko, and this one is no exception. Just as there are "Indian medicine people" who got their authority through visions and dreams, with very little contact with anything legitimately Native, so there are individuals to whom the Virgin Mary appeared in a vision and declared them to be the true Pope. They take special names (Peter II seems to be particular popular), wear white vestments, and are called "His Holiness" by their followers (I would say, "His Wholliness"--wholly what, I won't say.
)
Here's one of the most colorful examples, and might remind some people here of certain other individuals we've been hearing about:
Pope Peter Romanus II, born William Kamm of Cologne, Germany, a convicted sex offender currently in prison in Australia. Kamm, who is known as the "Little Pebble," apparently does not currently pretend to the papacy, but is claimed to be the next pope in waiting. Always a bridesmaid, never a bride, eh?
I know everyone here is just dying to find out more, so here's the Wikipedia link, and scroll down to the section "Mysticalists" for the real nut groups:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ConclavismAnd for further info on one of the more notable of the Mysticalist groups:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palmarian_Catholic_ChurchThere's been much speculation here and there on this board about, what if someone became enamored of the Roman Catholic Church, decided he was Catholic in his heart, or discovered that his great grandmother was Catholic, and then started practicing "Catholic traditions" which he found in books and on the internet. Learning that the word "Catholic" covers not only the Roman Church, but the Eastern Orthodox, Anglican, and (by some definitions) Lutheran traditions as well, he adds a bit of this and a bit of that to his practice to make it truly "catholic" (i.e, for the whole world and for all mankind). Ultimately he claims to be a priest, and a "chalice carrier", having been "ordained" in his visions, or, if he's lucky, came in contact with one of the many "wandering bishops" who laid actual hands on his actual head (for a fee, of course). Then he sets up his own ministry and starts advertising to the public that he's available to do Masses, baptisms, weddings, holy unction, and all the rest of it, and charges hundreds of dollars for each service. He offers workshops to train anyone interested in how to become a "church father" and a "spiritual elder", and how to use Gregorian chant to call down the angels who will give us what we need and really deserve in life, like peace of mind, purity of heart, and a
really nice house. When mainstream Roman Catholics and others start complaining and calling him a fraud, he starts arguing that those people with all their priests and bishops and respected lay leaders, are simply ignorant, old-fashioned, selfish, and unwilling to share, and that we need to save these dying traditions for future generations.
You can't make this stuff up in a way that is sillier than what actually goes on, and I'm exaggerating a bit, but the above scenario is not that far off from how some of the splinter groups from the Episcopal Church and the Old Catholic movement got started. Wandering bishops do exist, and ordination-for-a-fee diploma mills are a well-known line of business, who prey on people with a "calling" from the spirit world, but who are either too dumb or too lazy to do the work involved in getting a legitimate authorization. I wouldn't be surprised if there are actually faux priests and bishops running expensive workshops at luxury resorts to teach people how to be spiritual elders, though I haven't actually heard of them.
And just when I was starting to think that the Pope might really be Catholic, too! Next they'll be telling us that he really doesn't sleep in the woods.
Anyway, enough seriousness for now, here's my favorite Pope joke:
A representive from Anheuser-Busch has an audience with the Pope, and says, "Your Holiness, have I got a deal for you! Our company, along with our parent company in Belgium, is willing to endow a fund of several billion dollars, the earnings on which would pay the operating expenses of Vatican City and the Holy See for the next several decades. And all you have to do in return is change one word in The Lord's Prayer."
Pope Benedict says, "One word? But which word?"
"We want you to change 'give us this day our daily bread' to 'give us this day our daily beer'."
"
Ach, nein! I couldn't do that, it's impossible."
"But Your Holiness, just think of the advantage, and after all, it's just one little word."
"One word or not, I do not have the authority to change even a single word of The Lord's Prayer."
So the representive leaves. Pope Benedict sits there brooding over the matter for a while, and then whips out his cellphone. "Cardinal Bertone?" he says, "when does our contract with General Mills expire?"
(rimshot)
