Hi Jamie Welcome !
The protection of ceremonies gets talked about a lot here , as I am sure you have noticed ...
I'm sorry to hear that someone you have been close to is abusing Ceremonies . I've also had to deal with finding out someone I had been close to was exploiting the Sacred , and it really hurt . It' is such a betrayal .
I really appreciate that you aren't just going into denial and defending the person who has become an exploiter .
So often when people learn someone they care for is exploiting ceremonies , rather than defending the integrity of these traditions , they defend the exploiter and their relationship with the exploiter .
Personally , from what I have seen , I have come to think that sharing traditional ceremonies outside of the balance provided by a traditional community usually creates a lot more problems than good .
I am glad to hear you know of non native people who have the courage to stand up for what's right . If these people were not such a minority , maybe there wouldn't be so many problems , and the many Native communities which have decided to exclude non native people would never have been forced into this position .
One of the problems I see come up over and over , is , in every instance I have seen when this abuse of ceremonies happens outside a Native community , it is the exploiter and not the integrity of the traditions
which gets defended . I have yet to see the non native followers of a so called Native medicine person who gets off track , have the confidence , integrity and commitment to confront the person and say what they are doing is wrong . The problem seems to be that non native people think maintaining a good relationship with the so called medicine person is more important than maintaining the culture in a good way .
I think willingness to accept abuse and accomadate exploiters , is something that happens because people don't have deep enough roots , support and commitments within a Native community , to keep what is important in perspective .
Over the years , I have heard of a few good Elders who decided to open their ceremonies to people from all Nations . I think some of them sincerly meant well , but having seen the results of this over several decades , and having seen things go off the rails in so many ways, I have come to believe these traditions only work properly when kept in the context of the deeply rooted knowledgeable community where they originated .
When the traditions get removed from this context , as they do when people start "sharing" ceremonies with people in Europe , I see the same problems over and over.
Like you say , people are human. Even if they say "don't put me up on a pedastle " if they go over to Europe to lead Ceremonies that is exactly where they are going to end up . Like Sapa says , these people get the "red carpet treatment" . With no community that knows enough to get skeptical an give culturally appropriate feed back , even the best intentioned Elders tend to get warped over time .
And often the people who seek out non native followers don't have the best intentions . From what I've seen , at least 1/2 of the Native people that seek out a non native following, do so because no one in their own tribe wants anything to do with them , and it is only in a non native community that doesn't know any better that they can get attention and pass themselves off as "medicine people". Many of these people are so unhealthy ,they are actually dangerous . I have heard many first hand accounts of both physical violence and sexual abuse .
How I see it is many indigenous people recognized and respected the connection between the ordinary and the Sacred, but people can't find that core of Sacredness by imitating traditions based on the ordinary experiences of another culture . It doesn't work . The Lakota trying to practice the Ceremonies of the Hopi , or the Makah whalers , would be just pointless as European's practicing Lakota ceremonies .
I can see learning about basic traditional values and morals , is something that people living in other cultures might find inspiring , but , from what I have seen , the Ceremonies need to be maintained within the communities where they originated, to stay healthy .
I know there is different opinions on this and controversies , and even if we have a different understanding of this I really appreciate that you seem willing to put the general long term health of the culture first . I generally agree with and support anyone who is able to recognize that !
