An Extended Metaphor for all the Cinnamon Bearclaws

[Defend the Sacred]

posted by Maritole on the LJ community, ndnz:

"I've decided I am a firefighter today. I don't know much about being a firefighter, no firefighters in my family but I heard that my great-great grandfather may have worked as a volunteer firefighter in Jackson County back in the day. But, really, I just like the idea of being a firefighter - it's exciting, well, it *sounds* exciting, and the red truck gets bonus points.

"I am a firefighter. I said so. I even Googled "firefighting" to find out a little bit more about what being a firefighter entails (aside from the snazzy uniform and the aforementioned hella cool red truck!) but there was a LOT of information, some of it seemed too academic or too angry (the NYFD seems to be really upset still) so I clicked out of the sites and went to eBay instead to see if I could get a firefighting uniform on the cheap, maybe get it tailored to be a bit more fitted too...

"Since I am a firefighter, I am telling everyone all about *being* a firefighter. I keep getting asked what station I work for and who my team is but I shrug it off, no need to get into the deals of work and community - I've always been a loner, a solitary practitioner, if you will. I get dressed in the uniform and strut around town, sometimes I even get up the courage to stand near the red trucks (omgtheyaresocooooool!) but I am irritated that people are questioning my right to assert my identity as a firefighter! Who the hell do they think they are? Fuck the haters, I am going to go see about getting a Dalmatian."

read the rest here...

[Juliet]

ROFLMAO!

That is exactly how the little wannabe dears sound when challenged.

[Defend the Sacred]

I am a firefighter IN MY HEART!!!

[Laurel]

I was a firefighter in a past life.

[that_dakota_kid]

LMAO That was awesome. You think maybe in a couple days of surfing you could be fire chief too, eh.
Sad but funny, ennit.

[Defend the Sacred]

My great great great grandmother was a full-blooded Firefighting Princess! They called her Xena FireWomon. She speaks through me! She taught me a special firefighting ritual. Give me $999 and we can go blow shit up and I'll teach it to you. Bring bail money. The cops don't understand my religion.

[ska]

I am not a firefighter (nor do I play one on TV).

However, I am one of the world's foremost experts on firefighting cultures and my most recent scholarship reflects on the primordial roots of cultural values within the firefighting diaspora.

Currently, I am the recipient of the Wasicu Memorial Post-Doctoral Fellowship for Mundane and Redundant Studies in Dillettante approaches to Cross-cultural Methods of Fire Management and Cessation in Post-Colonial Combustible communities.  An important part of my work will be to guide the revitalization of  colonized fire-fighting cultures and help them to relearn their ancestors blaze-cessation techniques through the many books I have written on the subject.

[that_dakota_kid]

Don't worry about them police for I have learned how to shapeshift don'tcha know. yea, I'll just shape shift into one of them dalmations and then they too will believe and tell you it is ok cause after all you gatta be the real thing, hell, you gotta dalmation for crying out loud, how legit is that.

[uktena]

Didn't Dhyani Yoo-hoo say that firefighters are really the incarnations of advanced ancient spiritual beings from the Pleiades whose souls vibrate at a thousand times the speed of light?