It's funny I only knew Jerry as Jerry. Others started calling him "Doc" a few years after I met him in 1978. Jerry had a way of moving consciousness with words, and of course pot and peyote and other halucinogens helped with that too. I would not have stayed with Jerry for 11 years if it were all bad. But it took me 11 years to learn that Jerry was what he himself referred to as a "vampire" -- someone who sucks the life energy from others. If you look at those around Jerry, they either prop him up with their energy and personal knowledge of him and his ways, thereby giving him crfedibility, or they are people Jerry has elected to "help" unscrew their heads if, and only if, they served him in return. It's an unspoken understanding but one that Jerry solicits wihtout question, in my opinion. I've seen too much to know otherwise. Take a look at those close to Jerry and will will not really find spiritually self acualized people. The only two folks I knew who knew Jerry who were spirutually aware and unencumbered by him were Rossi (who you have told me you met) and a teacher I'll simply call Anand, as east Indian who taught metaphysics at University of TN. Both are deceased. But in life they did not tolerate much of Jerry's bull, although they did interact with the good that was there. But both told me of Jerry and his ways and helped me see my experience from a different perspective. In my 11 years with Jerry, I witnessed, first hand, a string of people used and discarded by him when they no longer served his purpose or if they questioned him or his methods, or if they grew beyond his ability to control them. Anyway, I feel I have dominated this thread too much as it is, I just wanted to comment on the idea that there may be some good that came out of your experience. Very little in life is all-or-nothing, an absolute. Jerry could not continue to play with darkness if he didn't dabble with truth.
I look forward to your story unfolding, good, not so good, the pretty and the ugly, and I'll shut up now. There will be little I can add to your story and I can learn something from you. I know how deep this is for you and respect your sharing this part of yourself.
clearwater
