An Elder Pueblo once said the following: many non-indians come looking for something. They do not realize it's like going to plant a seed, you put that seed in there and then you take care of it. You water it and nuture it, give it love and everything. Then it grows into a plant.
Ken I believe that is where you have to start. The seeds have been planted and now it's time to start over, simply take care of you, water what has been given you and nuture it, give love and after a while, maybe a long while it will start to grow. Patients.....
Many Elders have taught non-indians and given them directions, but as soon as the non-indian people receive those instructions, they think they are qualified to do sweat lodge. So they go ahead and do it without really understanding the process of how thew spirits come in. So this make the Elders and all natives so afraid for people who know very little about these things. Sometimes it's not good spirits or visions that come in. So Ken you can see why the concern for you.
I said all that to say this Ken. The American society is, is you seperate and you label everything. You've got to have a term for this, and so words that are created are really big words like shaman, or all these other new age terms denoting some link to American Indian but in fact is not.
Ken why do you need to label, why not just be. Go about your life quietly. We have what is called Indian Time, it will happen when its suppose to if at all. wado